Luis, em 30 September 2023 - 11:10, disse:
Se é para isto, vou-me embora.
Felonius Gru from Minions has sexual relations with the Minions
Now this may seem like a pretty wild accusation, right? After all, Gru adopted and has custody over three children; he would have to have good moral character. However, I believe that Gru used his immense wealth and influence to bribe the adoption agency: he has a net worth of at least 1.2 billion US dollars, not adjusted to inflation.
Felonius Gru, more like Felon Gru.
Now, you may ask, where are you going with all of this? That’s a very good question. You see, Gru is able to completely take advantage over the minions. He is 4 minions tall, or 14 feet, with ~7 foot long arms, and in Despicable Me 1, he paralyzes a shark with a single punch, which would have to be around 3,000 Newtons of force, so he is easily able to overpower the minions.
In Despicable Me 1, in the same scene where he punches the shark, he easily dodges ballistic missiles moving at supersonic speeds, meaning he is able to outrun the minions.
Additionally, Gru has Einsteinian levels of IQ, being able to construct a rocket at a very young age, meaning he is able to outsmart the minions.
Furthermore, the Minions are the perfect outlet for Gru’s sick, twisted desires. They aren’t able to say anything about it. What would they say? banana?
You may protest,” but Gru has a wife? Why would he need to fuck minions” and frankly, you disappoint me. Everyone knows that wife ain’t doing shit, they don’t even have any kids.
now you may be wondering,” That’s great and all, but how does that connect to Gru fucking the minions”
You see, Gru was able to enslave an entire race of Minions and hide them completely from the public eye. To do that, Gru would almost have to be a strict disciplinarian. Maybe some of the discipline was done sexually? You can see plainly in Despicable Me 1 that Gru is in possession of an Iron Maiden, which as you may know, is a torture device. Why would he have that? BDSM. We can already see that Gru has a love for wearing leather, so it doesn’t seem like much of a stretch if Gru practiced BDSM on the minions
Additionally, you can see in Despicable Me 2, two of the minions, Phillip and Tom can be seen in French Maid outfits. Now, how did they get those outfits. There’s only one explanation.
Roleplay.
Anyways that concludes my ted talk
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